There is no other comparison that can really do the last several trips around the moon in my life justice: were I not living it my own self, I would hardly believe it either. And to think, it has only been a year!

May 15th, 2012 7:01am EST

My resignation notice is officially effective. I am unemployed now for the first time in years. It’s a strange, surreal feeling, but not quite as scary as I’d have thought, since I had a plan. I’m always okay with a definitive plan of action.

I go home that morning, do a little packing and then go to sleep. after having worked all night, I was ready. I get up around 5-6pm and I pack some more. I pack all night, with the help of my little sister and my father, and shortly after midnight, the car is loaded and I say my final farewells and I hit the road. I fill the tank up before leaving town, then it is highway riding all the way. I drive. And I drive. And I drive. I don’t stop but to refuel and answer nature’s call, and even those I try to time together. Most of the drive I have a boy in my ear, murmuring sweet nothings to me. This is the man who would change everything. This is the man who gives me new and beautiful purpose. This is ‘mon raison d’etre.’

Around 5pm (CST now,) I finally stop. I’ve been driving for a while now and I’m tired. I get a room at an Econolodge somewhere in south Indiana. I chat with the boy a while and then hop off to lay down. I sleep until shortly after 1 am. I get up, shower and get back on the road and drive.

I try to call the boy but he must be asleep so I crank the tunes and cruise. I observe as I’m making my way through Missouri how dang bumpy it is. Up and down. This is where I am when the sun rises and it’s beautiful. I am feeling a sense of calm determination. I feel like my life is my own and I am taking the proverbial bull by the horns. It is empowering.

After a while, the boy calls me. He is groggy and not altogether awake. I laugh because I find it endearing. It takes me back 6 weeks, when I had visited to meet him & his family. I recalled waking up with him, before either of us were completely sure what this was between us. The memory of his sleepy eyes and content smile as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to wish me a good morning makes me want to drive faster. I’ve already been away from him for too long.

I drive and drive and drive. The whole trip is relatively uneventful. I briefly pass through the northwest corner of Arkansas and into Oklahoma. It’s fairly late morning by the time I approach the Texas border. The excitement is almost like electricity in me – almost tangible through every nerve in my body. The further south I drive on I-75, the more familiar my surroundings become. It is all I can do to respect the speed limit at this point. Everything I need in my life is mere minutes away and I can’t stand to wait.

I finally exit the highway and almost wail in despair at the red lights and stop signs through the neighborhood as I make my way along the path I traveled several times less than two months ago.

Shortly after lunch on May 17th, 2012, I finally turn onto my street.. my new street, and there he is, standing in the front yard. He is wearing light blue stone wash jeans and a crisp white t-shirt. I see my future and I can only barely manage to get the car in park before I fly out the door and into his arms. I almost take him down. He laughs, and he kisses me and life is perfect. Even for a brief moment, I know perfection, when he lays me down in the shop and loves me.

I am home.

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