Why? Why not?

Posted: November 12, 2014 in Uncategorized

I had a chat with a new friend of mine earlier today and the topic went to dreams and aspirations, and the elements of our lives that gave birth to those dreams and aspirations. It got me to thinking about how sadly rare it is to see people make something good out of something awful. It was with this thought that it finally dawned on me: that is the difference between a victim and a survivor.

Those that know me know that I have strong feelings of resentment towards the victim label. Yes, awful things have happened to me and in my life in recent history. I feel that the term “victim” implies that those things are what define me, and I simply cannot abide by that. Sure, I used to think all the time “why me? Why are these things happening to me?” The cold reality of it though is ‘why not me?’ I don’t feel that I am more or less fortunate than anyone else. I don’t feel that anyone is more deserving of atrocities than anyone else. The fact of the matter is: life is a lengthy series of poker games. Sometimes we get dealt killer hands that allow us to clean house on the table. Other times, though, we get the shittiest hands that we possibly could. I’m of the opinion though that a shitty hand doesn’t mean you should quit playing. Don’t go all in on it, by any means, but don’t bow out at the first sign of adversity because if you do, then what? The most current standing you will have is whatever hand you bowed out with. If it were a less than ideal hand, why on earth would you stop at that? I can think of no logical, sane reason to settle for that.

I choose to take the adversities that arise in my life and mold them into motivation. I don’t like the way things are sometimes, so I figure out what steps I need to take to fix it. It is never easy. I’ve been hard up financially for more days in my life than not, and I’ve had to go without a lot of things as a result. It happens a lot. I have no sense of entitlement. I don’t think I deserve more or less than I have at any given time. A victim does. A victim allows his or herself to be defined by the ugly reality they face. They expect others to sympathize or pity them and they expect other people to take up for them and make it better. Victims can keep their mentality. I don’t want it. Anything I have, I have worked for. I have cried, sweated and bled for everything. I will continue to do so because that is how I will earn a better hand. That is how I will become more than what I am.

If you don’t like where you’re at, stop just sitting there and complaining about it. Complaining will change nothing. Go out and do something about it. If something upsets you, get mad, keep your cool, and change it. Do not settle for what is, because I guarantee you the World does not care. It will not lose sleep or stop spinning even for a second. It will continue as it always has and always will. It is up to you to carve your lot out. It is up to you to build on it and create the life you want to live.

The title here is a double entendre. ‘Why me? Why are these things happening to me?’ These things are happening to you because you are asking the wrong question. The question you should be asking is ‘Why aren’t these things happening to me?’ Once you answer that question, you will be in control and you will find the path to the life you have want. You still have to move your feet though. You still have to do the work and you still have to make the sacrifices and learn the lessons. There is not a thing in this world that is free. There are some things, however, that are a pleasure to pay for. When you pay the price for those things, you are left with a sense of accomplishment and victory that money simply cannot buy.



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