Posts Tagged ‘rape’

So I’ve finally finished watching 13 Reasons Why on Netflix. It has taken me longer than some because of the difficult nature of some of the themes. I had to pace myself with the intake because this is one of those things that makes you feel, no matter who you are, and I already feel a lot on the subject matter. I needed to moderate the intensity for the sake of my mental health.
I will try to get through this without any real spoilers, but if you are thay concerned, maybe don’t read until after you’ve watched or read it already yourself. 

I think it’s incredibly important in this day and age for us to ensure we are still warm blooded, emotion feeling creatures, because we are so prone to becoming desensitized with all the excess stimuli we are flooded with at the speed of information. Furthermore, this show also makes it personal. Whether it’s someone you know, or a few more degrees of separation in between, you can still relate to this on some level. It’s important to say to begin with that sexual violence wasn’t used gratuitously in this show. At the same time though, it also wasn’t diluted. 

Teens all know about the struggles and hardships of navigating social life in high school, while still wrestling with a means of self-discovery and identity. Parents and adults in general forget all too quickly about these things… This show will make you feel closer to your teenaged child than you’ve felt in years. It will give you a glimpse into their life, it will help you understand some of their behaviors and it will explain the tether to their electronics. If for no other reason, you need to watch this show with your child for that.

The harder lessons… It touches on the uglier aspects of this world of ours, from substance abuse to sexual violence, mental illness, and yes, even suicide. These are not nice topics. They are not meant to be nice. They are supposed to make you uncomfortable. That discomfort signifies how human you are. 

As always, it strikes me as utterly tragic that something terrible has to happen before people will start treating each other with respect and consideration. It is ever the tragedy but, fortunately, at least this time the loss is a fictional one, however symbolic she may have been. I think it’s so important for all of us, from teens to parents from poor homes and affluent ones, to victims and survivors of rape, to families and friends of those suffering from depression, to even those who suffer from mental illness themselves, if for no other reason than to understand how not alone they are. This show is so uniquely poised to teach lessons across so many social demographics…it is my professional opinion, as a survivor, an advocate for mental illness, someone who made it out of high school alive, as well as someone working towards being a better counselor than Mr. Porter, that everyone should watch this show, at whatever pace they themselves can muster, because it will change them, and it will grow them, and it will strengthen the connections they have with the people in their lives. Isn’t it those connections, after all, that keep us grounded?

As an aside, I think it is SO important to also watch Beyond the Reasons. It provides some exceptional insight into the spirit behind the book, as well as the show itself, and it also helps process some of the tougher themes in the show. We are told here some of why some of the mechanics were used the way they were.. victims of sexual assault have a very hard time talking about what happened to them. It’s clouded with so many feelings of shame, of anger, of disbelief, of guilt, and a myriad of other things. Victims can’t process easily themselves, let alone explain to someone else. 

So I have been in my head a little bit recently, with all the goings on in the news and just a lot of reality being a little too real for my taste. 

Sooooo I’ve decided to acknowledge myself for a minute, and have a quiet little celebration of self, because I always say the little victories are really big victories, but I don’t always practice what I preach. 

I saw a post about sobriety in one of the groups I’m a part of on Facebook, and it reminded me of this poem. The poem chills me to my core but sharing it always feels like something of a public service announcement because if you don’t know first hand how evil the shit is, the poem paints a pretty accurate picture. 

I’m proud to say it’s been 28 months since the last time I touched the stuff. There have been a few bumps in the road but nothing that could push me hard enough to make me take a step backwards and for that, I am proud. 

I have also leveled up somewhat with regards to counseling. We are meeting approximately once a month now, as I am functioning and coping with the stress in my life on my own. I no longer feel like anxiety rules my life, and PTSD isn’t driving anymore. I don’t feel like rape girl anymore. It’s really a stellar feeling. I still have my issues and scars, but they aren’t all there is of me. I am so much more.

I’m close to buying a home for when my husband comes home next year. I will have earned my Associate’s of Science by the end of 2016, and come the spring of 2017, I will have begun work towards my BS in Psychology, with a minor in Sociology. 

It’s a little bit overwhelming when I consider just how much has happened in such a relatively short period of time. But truth be told, I’m okay with that pressure because I did that. I refused to be a statistic and I accomplished that. I continue to embody that. 

I guess the moral of the story is, no matter where you’ve been, or what you’ve been through, don’t give up. There will always be those who are critical or judgmental but they don’t have any authority over you unless you hand it to them. Hold on. If you’re going through it, don’t stop and don’t lose momentum. You will make it through to the other side and you will be proud of yourself. I’m proud of you too, for what it’s worth.

I have experienced something today that I’m not altogether sure how to articulate, largely because I have yet to fully wade through & identify all that I’m feeling as a direct result of this news and the implications it carries with it. I can identify one thing I’m not feeling, however: anger. For the first time in nearly three years, I don’t have this overwhelming, smothering cloud of rage and indignance surrounding my conscious mind. I had forgotten what this feels like.
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